Winters Splinters

With life is leisure,
And simple procedure,
But are my hands steady,
Am I ready,
To be the advocate of death,
Taking someone else's last breath,
Do I know the impact,
Can I keep it intact,
As the adrenaline injects my veins,
I bury myself deep inside my brains,
For it is my castle,
But it causes me such hassle,
Hiding my demons where I sleep,
Making promises hard to keep,
For I have a secret sin,
A creature beneath my skin,
A serial killer,
Blood spiller,
I'm a man of purpose and action,
You are but a fraction,
Of my capacity,
Velocity,
Of mental capacities,
Overriding occupancies,
Are we ever truly settled down,
Or just drifting from town to town,
Cause I'm a loner of sorts,
A kid whom resorts,
To self violence to answer the world,
At night he lies curled,
Wondering where he went wrong,
Why he can't seem to get along,
Asking himself why he does this,
Hit and a miss,
Cause he hasn't the slightest clue,
As he stares into the ambient blue,
What do I do,
What's a lie and what's true,
Winter is coming back around,
As my ship ran aground,
I'm destined to freeze in the winds,
Watching the grins,
Of the monsters inside,
I have nowhere to reside,
I'm on my own,
I've been shown,
Everything I can do to survive,
To thrive,
In a life that I can't control,
So why am I so cold?